Truth or Lies…

By StormyBear30

Author Website: p206.ezboard.com/bslashygoodness17029
Feedback Email: StormyBear29@cox.net
Pairing: Sayid and Charlie
Rating: PG
Genre: Sayid’s POV
Summary: Sayid has to make a decision.
Disclaimer: I don’t own QAF/Roswell or any related parties.

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“It’s almost morning…you’d better go” I heard him speak softly as he lay beside me…his back turned. I didn’t have to see his face to know that he was upset for after over a year of being together and doing what we do…I knew him like a well read book. I didn’t say anything as I leaned over and kissed him tenderly upon his bare shoulder before turning away from him and dressing myself quickly. He didn’t even look at me as I walked around our makeshift bed…kneeling before him before kissing his soundly upon lips that I have kissed thousands upon thousands of times. I still spoke not a word as I caressed his cheek…smiling down at him before taking my leave. I knew that it hurt him each time that I did it…but for some reason it was something that I felt I had to do.

“Coward…” I muttered to myself as I trekked my way back to my home. It had been nearly two years since that fateful day that our plane crashed into that god-forsaken island and in those two years we had built up quite the little city. Months after the crash most of us had basically accepted the fact that getting rescued was not going to happen and so we began to build. First we built small lean twos for each person to sleep in semi comfort from the weather and the elements…eventually building small structures that could be considered homes. We built a community center where everything and anything that pertained to our survival was dealt with. We each held a job that was vital to the survival of our large group of misfits and I was one of their leaders. I knew that it was a stupid reason to hide the relationship that I had with him…but I have to admit that for once in my lifetime fear was the reason I remained silent for so long. I can still remember the first time that we came together. It wasn’t anything but pure lust at learning there was another like me on the island…but it was the start of something wonderful.

It happened so fast that I sometimes can’t believe that it happened at all…but each time that I look upon him it all comes back to me again in vibrant reality. I was off in search of food when I happened upon him…crouching behind some bushes as he intently watched something going on before him. “What are you doing?” I asked him crossly…irritated that he had interrupted my hunt.

“I wondered how long it would be before he bagged himself a babe” he chuckled…placing him hand upon my arm as he tugged me down to his level. Looking over the bushes I found Sawyer and Shannon going at it in the woods.

“You should not be watching this” I scolded him…moving away from the scene playing out before us…grabbing his arm as I tugged him with me.

“I know…I know” he stuttered…running his hand through his hair as he stood before me. “Doesn’t matter much…things like that don’t do much for me” I could feel his eyes burning into my own as he stared up at me as if trying to express something without really saying anything. I knew what he was getting at…but be damned if I was going to give him a response that he was searching for…at least not verbally. “Whoa man…where’s the fire” he cried out after me as I grabbed onto his arm once again and practically dragged him into the further into the woods. “Sayid…your bloody scaring me man” he tried to pull away…but I was determined as deeper and deeper we strode into the jungle. “Whoa man…” he spoke winded as he leaned against a tree once I felt we were far enough away from the camp and prying eyes. “Sayid…you ok?” he asked concerned as I paced before him. “Sayid…” he said my name again more nervous as I stood before him…placing my hands over his shoulder as I pinned him against a large tree. It wasn’t about attraction…wasn’t about love…but about nothing but lust. Leaning forward…I hesitated for a brief second before covering his lips with my own. He just stood there shocked and rigid…but it didn’t last long we he wrapped his arms around my neck and began to return my kiss with vigor. It was over before it began…with the intention of never letting it happen again but two days later I began what soon became a regular occurrence for us.

Till this day I still can’t tell you when it turned to more then just sexual gratification…but no matter what I felt for the younger man I was not ready to out myself to the entire population. It hurt him…I knew that it did but I refused to even contemplate giving him what he wanted most…for us to be like the rest of the couples that had paired off through the years there. He pretended that it didn’t bother him…but no matter how much he tried those large…round eyes always spoke to me the truth. I should have known that things weren’t always going to be the same…but I hoped that he loved me enough to allow it. However…what I feared would happen did one morning after I dressed and prepared to leave him again during the early morning hours. “I can’t do this anymore” I heard him whisper…lying away from me.

“Charlie don’t…” I spoke softly…walking over towards him as he began to dress himself.

“Don’t what…pretend that this doesn’t kill me every time that you run off into the night out of fear that someone might find out about us. Well…I can’t pretend anymore Sayid because it is killing me. Why are you so afraid of what the others will think? Or is it that you are ashamed of me because I know that I am not as good looking as the rest of the blokes on the island”

“This has nothing to do with you” I cried out…pulling him into my arms to avoid seeing the tears pooling within his eyes. “It’s all about me…you have to know that”

“I don’t know any bloody thing” he rushed out…pushing away from me as he walked towards the other end of the small space. “What I do know is that you act as if you don’t know me during the day. You smile and flirt with all the women on this island on a whim…but you never even look my way. I don’t exist to you at all during the daytime…but at night you know me intimately. I had hoped that you would change after realizing that this wasn’t just sex to me…that I love you…but it hasn’t. You’re so afraid of letting the others down…but you never once think about the way that your actions affect me. I…I just can’t do this anymore” I could hear the pain in his voice…could see the tears as they blazed down his face…but I once again ignored them as I finished dressing and rushed out as fast as I could.

“Sneaking into the night once again” I heard a voice speak from behind me as I attempted to rush towards my own sleeping place. I knew the voice well for it was the voice of Sawyer…the man that I hated with an undying passion. “You know that you are killing him don’t you?” his words continued as he followed behind me. “Ignoring him during the day…doing god knows what to him alone at night…it’s more then anyone should have to put up with”

“You don’t know what you are talking about” I snapped back…turning to face him as I grabbed onto the front of his shirt…halting both our movements.

“I know more then you think big man” he teased…smirking at me as he removed my hand from his person. “You seem to forget that I live with Clair and she is Charlie’s best friend. I know that he loves you for some strange reason and yet all you keep doing in hurting him. Charlie’s a nice person and he doesn’t deserve the treatment that he has been receiving” I wanted to slit his throat…wanted to punch my fist through his chest and rip out his still beating heart…but all I could do was hang my head in shame. His words were true and despite the fact that I didn’t want to admit it he was exactly right. Charlie was a nice man…a great man…a beautiful man and everyone knew it. He was friends with everyone…the caregiver…the peacemaker and one of the most well respected people on the island. “It’s not to late you know” he called out after me as I once again began my retreat. “Make a grand gesture…prove to him that you love him”
I couldn’t sleep much once I got back to my place as the images of his tears…his broken heart continued to haunt me. I knew that I had pushed him away one to many times and would probably never have the chance to hold him…kiss him…make love to him again. I had almost accepted my fate…but then my determination set in and I knew before nightfall that I would have Charlie once again in my arms where he belonged.

I didn’t see him the entire day and I knew that he was avoiding me…but who could blame him. Later that evening I once again went in search of him after my daily tasks had been taken care of…only to find him in the community center playing his beloved guitar. Several of the others surrounded him as he sang in a clear and beautiful voice of love found and love lost. It was sad and melancholy and I knew that I alone was the reason for it. Taking a deep breath of courage I walked right up to him…gently taking the guitar from his hands as I handed it over to Clair who was sitting beside him. Gently I took his hands as I pulled him to his feet…not once ever releasing them from my grasp. “Sayid?” he spoke in a soft questioning voice as his eyes darted around us…but I didn’t care. I was on a mission…a mission to prove to the man that I truly did love that nothing mattered but him.

“I am sorry Charlie” I spoke clearly and truthfully as I brought our still intertwined hands to my chest. “I am so sorry for hurting you because I never wanted to hurt that beautiful heart. So please darling I beg of you to forgive me and know that I love you” He didn’t say anything for mere moments but it felt like forever to me.

I was afraid that he was going to reject me…but much to my surprise and elation he did quite the opposite. “Blimey…I love you too” he cried out with one hell of a beautiful smile upon he face as he threw his arms around my neck. I could hear there startled gasps…even heard some words of disgust…but I didn’t care as I pulled him as tightly as I could against my body before kissing him with all the love and truth that I had for two of us. We lived together in happy harmony for six years after that and yet here we are still together today. It’s been a long road…a long winding road that was made bearable by the love of the man who inherits my entire existence and always will.

The End…